Dir: Umberto Lenzi.
Cast: Keith Van Hoven, Joe Balogh, Philip Murray, Juliana Teixeira, Maria Alves and some other folk I really can't be arsed listing.
"I see his bag, but I don't see Dick."
Fancying a cheap holiday (and even cheaper drugs, probably), the scarily square jawed Jessica (Curtis), her 'hunky' beau Kevin (Van Hoven) and her tagalong brother Dick (Balogh) decide Rio de Janeiro is the place to be seen and book themselves onto the first flight they can find in the hope of experiencing sun, sand and sex with transsexual crack whores in glittery bikinis.
Or was that just me?
Pam Grier helps out with the magical mouse
theatre's musical version of The Wicker Man.
theatre's musical version of The Wicker Man.
Being the friendly and approachable man about town that he is, Dick somehow manages to wrangle himself an invite to a genuine Macumba ceremony from a dusky, bingo winged bucktoothed bouncy mamma (or is it Martin Laurence?) with a great line in pound shop jewelery.
Reckoning that an evening of chicken slaughtering, big black laydees dancing topless and sweaty men playing the bongos would be preferable to sitting in between his sis and Kev in the pictures whilst hiding his cock in the bottom of the popcorn to give them a fright (again) Dick jumps at the chance, secretly taking his tape recorder to get a keepsake of the whole kerr-azee night.
On his way back to the hotel after an evening of partying the grizzled grannie gives him a strange (re: tacky as fuck) amulet to remember her by.
Oh, and a curse.
Yes, I gave her that pearl necklace.
Getting on with their holiday, our terrific trio hire a jeep and take a few days to explore the wonderful Brazilian countryside taking snapshots of undernourished weans, toothless old men and women carrying baskets on their heads (as you do). But this frankly time filling exercise is (thankfully) cut short when their jeep breaks down.
Luckily a well to do couple, Jose and Sonia just happen to be passing and offer to let the holiday makers stay at their villa (I'm assuming it's theirs but I was out having a fag at this point so they may have just broken in....but really, who cares?).
Dick however has begun to act a wee bit mental and wanders off on his own to check out the local graveyard (I say graveyard whereas in reality it's a vegetable patch with six cardboard gravestones in it) where the bodies of a group of murdered slaves lie awaiting the chance for revenge on them there nasty white folks.
For a laugh Dick decides to play his recording of the Macumba ritual which, not too surprisingly awakens them from their slumber.
Who'd have guessed?
"Do you need any scissors sharpening?"
Back at the villa Kev and Jessica have been making smalltalk with the maid Maria (Alves), who as well as being a mean cook and cleaner is also the local towns official practitioner of Voodoo.
Realising what a dick Dick's been, she offers to do all she can to protect everyone from advancing zombie horde.....
Dick.
Whilst never scaling the dizzying heights of Lenzi's masterpiece Nightmare City, Black Demons is a fairly enjoyable way to pass ninety minutes (if drunk) and has a couple of good things going for it despite the mad as a lorry Lenzi's frighteningly inept direction (nothing changes there then) and the cast of non actors doing their damnedest to sabotage the proceedings at every opportunity.
And they don't come any worse than Sonia Curtis, it's not often you get to see a lead actress blown off screen by six dead black guys with ping pong balls for eyes and for that reason alone Black Demons is worth the price of a rental.
To add insult to injury Lenzi seemed to have a real axe to grind (tho' not against her chin unfortunately) with poor Ms. Curtis, referring to her in interviews as both a mediocre actress, as well as describing her as short and unattractive.
Witherspoon? no, with a chisel.
But never fear because if, like me you began to find yourself strangely drawn to this chisel chinned wonder during the duration of the movie (must be the shocking pink sweater) then it's time to rejoice because surprisingly she didn't give up acting after this debacle (some would say she never started) and is currently appearing as Sondra De Salvo in Boston Strangler: The Untold Story (coming soon to the Horror Channel no doubt).
And doesn't that give you a tingly feeling inside?
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