march stiffs.

It appeared that Death had been busy going thru' the Unwell phone book last month (in more ways than one) seeing how many Arena faves popped their clogs in the merry month of March.

Everybody loves Raymond.

These included the ferret faced, moustachioed pornographer and owner of sharp suits Paul Raymond, who gave us his last pop shot aged 82 and the co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons Gary Gygax who rolled a double zero at the ripe old age (for a dwarf) of 69.

The dice man cometh.

Bill Hayward, the producer of Easy Rider shot himself in the head (ouch) and comics genius
Dave Stevens, creator of The Rocketeer (and the best Bettie Page artist EVER) died from leukemia.

Chuck Day, American blues guitarist who wrote the distinctive riff for the Secret Agent Man theme twanged his last aged 65 whilst Richard Biegenwald, the evil (or is that misunderstood?) American serial killer was fried till his eyes popped at the age of 67.

"T'was the video games
what made me do it"

Talking of frying (and of food in general) Kurt Eberling, Sr. the German-American inventor of SpaghettiOs died of (a pasta based, no doubt) cancer aged 77.

Another couple of food based deaths include that of white whiskered actor John Hewer, most famous for playing Captain Birdseye, the character who encouraged children to eat up their tea with the catchphrases "only the best for the captain's table" and "Come sleep in my bed with my frisky cod".

It was a sad day for corporate clowns and good food fans everywhere when the death of Herb Peterson, the man responsible for the Egg McMuffin was announced in early March.

"Touch my baps".

And it was a sad month for fans of Michael Douglas (but only in Italy) as Oreste Rizzini, the man who was the voice of the jiggly jowled one from Basic Instinct through Traffic died of stomach cancer aged 67 (lots of 7's this month.....spooky). He was also well known for dubbing (but not fisting) Bill Murray in Ghostbusters.

Jowls.

Ickle fin legs.

Sir Arthur C. Clarke, inventor of the communications satellite and writer of the wee space books was crushed by a big black monolith at the age of 90 and Brian (father of Kim possibly) Wilde, succumbed to the infamous curse of Last of the Summer Wine at the age of 80.

Wet and Wilde.

"Pull my Belgian finger".

Also stiffing this month were Raymond Leblanc, 92, Belgian comic book producer and publisher of the classic The Adventures of Tintin, Richard Widmark, the American actor (Judgment at Nuremberg), after long illness and most importantly my Betamax video recorder at the ripe old age of 26.

It leaves a pile of Beta pre-certs, a tape of my old school chum Colin Hopson in a disco dancing competition at Butlins aged 15 (now there's a tale) and a remote control.

Colin Hopson: Lord of The Dance.