april stiffs.

It's that sad time of the month where we celebrate the good, the bad and the ugly who passed on in the last month.

Sniff.

South Korean model and (bit part) star of the hit movie classics Herb (2007) and Private Eye (2009), Woo Seung-yeon killed herself after a string of failed auditions around the same time as Star Wars Holiday Special star and professional man voiced sex bomb Beatrice "Bea" Arthur went from Golden Girl to Stiff Chick.

Woo Seung: yeon to Heaven.


Let it Bea.

Ballard: pervier than Clarkson.

Sci-fi new waver, automobile eroticiser and champion of the dystopian modernity, James Graham Ballard created his last bleak man-made landscape last month alongside Welsh actress Stephanie Parker, who was spookily found dead on a piece of the aforementioned bleak man-made landscape just outside Cardiff.

Parker in a parka in a park.



Rogers: Infamy.

Chambers: Tight manly buttocks.

Comedy God and producer of the glorious Carry On series Peter Rogers made his last sniggering innuendo about breasts just as big breasted porn legend, exotic dancer, and vice-presidential candidate Marilyn Chambers peered Behind the Green Door one last time (no doubt frenzied with a rabid virus or something).

Paton: Filthy beast.



Quigg: Saddest wank ever.

Wrangler: Up the casino.

On a brighter note, Drug dealing Pedo rapist and (more horribly) the man who thrust The Bay City Rollers into our collective consciousness Thomas Dougal Paton died of a heart attack whilst cracking one off over pictures of X Factor Hobbit Eoghan Quigg in his bath. Which is nice.

And whilst on the subject of masturbation and a wee bit of forced anal, last month also saw the death of the famous American actor of both gay and straight adult film, icon of the gay-liberation movement, theatrical producer and director Jack Wrangler.

McCrea: Buns of steel.


Dazzler: drawn.

Who pays the Perryman?

Slow-witted "Deadhead" from the cult 1960s Beach Party films including the bikini busting Beach Party, Muscle Beach Party, Bikini Beach, and Beach Blanket Bingo, Joel Dee "Jody" McCrea shimmied his last sand dance and Frank Springer, comic strip artist best known for Marvel Comics' Dazzler and Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. as well as the 'adult' themed' The Adventures of Phoebe Zeit-Geist pencilled his final big breasted roller skating siren last month.

Louis Byron "Lou" Perryman (AKA Lou Perry), the cowboy hatted co-star of The Blues Brothers, Poltergeist, Boys Don't Cry and most famously The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 was stabbed to death in his house last month.

But not by Bill Moseley.

Probably.

Holden: Friction.

Double stubble.

But the saddest death of the month is that of the career of the dishy duo Addicted.

The vivacious vixen of the violin Sue Son and her (considerably plainer) keyboard playing best pal Janine Khalil were buzzed off stage at the Birmingham auditions of Britain's Got Talent before the panel of judges, including the shamefully breasted star of hit sitcom Mad About Alice Amanda Holden, invited 23-year-old Sue to try again on her own.

She made it thru, but lost the friendship of her grumpy best pal Janine.

Shame on you.