Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
dead beat dance.
Just in time for Halloween, the official Killerwatt horror mix (part one) for your downloading pleasure.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
leathery balls.
Look, I'm sorry...it was late and I had nothing else to watch.....plus I was hypnotised by the girl on the lefts huge chin.
Just count yourself lucky that I watched it for you.Sing gum zhook kao (AKA Sexy Soccer. 2004)
Dir: Sik Hok Min (Yup, that's right - THE Sik Hok Min)
Star: Au Yeung, Carmen Yeung, Tong Tong and lots of other people but I've discovered that no-one actually reads the cast list bit, they go straight to the movie poster that's usually right below.
Professional sleazy guy Rolando (Yeung, probably) is having a wee bit of bad luck culminating with a run in with the local loan shark.
You see he'd made a huge bet on his fave team winning the football championship cup (or something....as you can probably tell, I'm not really the sporty type) but guess what?
Yup, they lost.
Feeling generous the loan shark decides against cutting his throat and instead offers him one last chance to come up with the cash.
With no idea as to what he could do to raise the money Rolando decides to go watch a footie match to get a wee bit of inspiration. It's there that whilst enjoying the game his eyes are draw to a brash n' busty jogger bouncing by him at half time.
Rolando sees this as a message from God telling him to form an all female footie team (named Friendly Balls) to compete against the all male squads, with the ladies uses their 'sexy bodies' to distract the testosterone fueled male players.
How this would work is never fully explained (much the same way as the loan shark storyline never re-appears) but, we've been promised scantily clad and sexy girls playing football so let's stick with it and see if it delivers.
Anyway back to the synopsis (so I can eradicate any memory of this film from my head), everything starts swimmingly with much training footage of girls jogging in tiny shorts and shots of sweaty ladies jumping on the spot as Rolando's plan seems to be foolproof enough for him to actually have a chance of winning whatever he's meant to win (I don't really care).
Unfortunately his arch rival Dennis gets wind of his plan and has a secret weapon of his own....
You see, he's secretly been training a team of homosexuals to play against the ladies in the final.
The rotter!
When all seems lost tho' our hero comes up with his greatest plan yet.
Remembering that 'the gays' like arse he gets all the ladies to flash their bum cheeks at them, instantly curing them of their gayness and thus enabling the girls to win.
Effectively that's it as far as the movies plot goes, with half of the film being a shameful excuse to see a handful of fairly unattractive young ladies with bored looks on their faces (and one with a chin like an ironing board) prancing around in tight tops and tiny seventies style shorts wiggling and jiggling like they're have a stroke.
But not in a good way (like when Helen Robinson had hers in Neighbours).
The remainder of this epic consists of endless scenes of Rolando (dressed like your dad) having sex with the team ( either in reality or 'hilarious' dream sequences) in the most unerotic way since Harvey Keitel cracked one off over that car door in The Bad Lieutenant'.
True there's and almost obscene amount of nudity (plus sex scenes that border on hardcore) but it's a bit like watching a video of your parents having sex.
In your bed.
And trust me on this when I tell you that's not a nice feeling.
Saying that tho' at least Harvey looked like he was enjoying himself (as did my folks), Yeung on the other hand keeps pulling comedy 'cum' faces whilst making grabbing actions toward the unfortunate actresses breasts.
For Minutes at a time we're subjected to this in extreme close-up, it's almost as if he's possessed your teevee and is desperately trying to escape to do bad things to you.
And your dog.
I will admit that the film does have a few stand out moments, mainly showcasing the total ineptitude of those involved, including a fantastic bit in which one of the team actually stops speaking to look off-camera at the director for reassurance before continuing the scene.
Buy this film now and see how many you can spot.
It'd be much easier than trying to spot any of the films promised 'sexy' moments.
Market to us foreign devils as a kinky version of the classic Steven Chow comedy Shaolin Soccer, this is more Benny Hill than Jimmy Hill, replacing the formers knockabout comedy, musical numbers and martial arts mayhem with copious amounts of spotty arses, crap Cosby sweaters and far too many embarrassing sexual shenanigans that only seem to be there to pd out the movie's megre running time.
Worth it if you find bored shitless, horse faced Asian girls attractive or if you don't have a girlfriend.
Just count yourself lucky that I watched it for you.Sing gum zhook kao (AKA Sexy Soccer. 2004)
Dir: Sik Hok Min (Yup, that's right - THE Sik Hok Min)
Star: Au Yeung, Carmen Yeung, Tong Tong and lots of other people but I've discovered that no-one actually reads the cast list bit, they go straight to the movie poster that's usually right below.
See? there it is!
Professional sleazy guy Rolando (Yeung, probably) is having a wee bit of bad luck culminating with a run in with the local loan shark.
You see he'd made a huge bet on his fave team winning the football championship cup (or something....as you can probably tell, I'm not really the sporty type) but guess what?
Yup, they lost.
Feeling generous the loan shark decides against cutting his throat and instead offers him one last chance to come up with the cash.
With no idea as to what he could do to raise the money Rolando decides to go watch a footie match to get a wee bit of inspiration. It's there that whilst enjoying the game his eyes are draw to a brash n' busty jogger bouncing by him at half time.
Rolando sees this as a message from God telling him to form an all female footie team (named Friendly Balls) to compete against the all male squads, with the ladies uses their 'sexy bodies' to distract the testosterone fueled male players.
How this would work is never fully explained (much the same way as the loan shark storyline never re-appears) but, we've been promised scantily clad and sexy girls playing football so let's stick with it and see if it delivers.
Anyway back to the synopsis (so I can eradicate any memory of this film from my head), everything starts swimmingly with much training footage of girls jogging in tiny shorts and shots of sweaty ladies jumping on the spot as Rolando's plan seems to be foolproof enough for him to actually have a chance of winning whatever he's meant to win (I don't really care).
Unfortunately his arch rival Dennis gets wind of his plan and has a secret weapon of his own....
You see, he's secretly been training a team of homosexuals to play against the ladies in the final.
The rotter!
When all seems lost tho' our hero comes up with his greatest plan yet.
Remembering that 'the gays' like arse he gets all the ladies to flash their bum cheeks at them, instantly curing them of their gayness and thus enabling the girls to win.
She looks not bad from here,
but wait till the dribbling starts.
but wait till the dribbling starts.
Effectively that's it as far as the movies plot goes, with half of the film being a shameful excuse to see a handful of fairly unattractive young ladies with bored looks on their faces (and one with a chin like an ironing board) prancing around in tight tops and tiny seventies style shorts wiggling and jiggling like they're have a stroke.
But not in a good way (like when Helen Robinson had hers in Neighbours).
Helen: undercover action.
The remainder of this epic consists of endless scenes of Rolando (dressed like your dad) having sex with the team ( either in reality or 'hilarious' dream sequences) in the most unerotic way since Harvey Keitel cracked one off over that car door in The Bad Lieutenant'.
True there's and almost obscene amount of nudity (plus sex scenes that border on hardcore) but it's a bit like watching a video of your parents having sex.
In your bed.
And trust me on this when I tell you that's not a nice feeling.
Harvey: Barclay's bank.
Saying that tho' at least Harvey looked like he was enjoying himself (as did my folks), Yeung on the other hand keeps pulling comedy 'cum' faces whilst making grabbing actions toward the unfortunate actresses breasts.
For Minutes at a time we're subjected to this in extreme close-up, it's almost as if he's possessed your teevee and is desperately trying to escape to do bad things to you.
And your dog.
"So which one of you sexy ladies is
up for a wee bit o' mooth shite-in?"
up for a wee bit o' mooth shite-in?"
I will admit that the film does have a few stand out moments, mainly showcasing the total ineptitude of those involved, including a fantastic bit in which one of the team actually stops speaking to look off-camera at the director for reassurance before continuing the scene.
Buy this film now and see how many you can spot.
It'd be much easier than trying to spot any of the films promised 'sexy' moments.
Somewhere to park your bike at least.
Market to us foreign devils as a kinky version of the classic Steven Chow comedy Shaolin Soccer, this is more Benny Hill than Jimmy Hill, replacing the formers knockabout comedy, musical numbers and martial arts mayhem with copious amounts of spotty arses, crap Cosby sweaters and far too many embarrassing sexual shenanigans that only seem to be there to pd out the movie's megre running time.
It's a load of old balls.
Worth it if you find bored shitless, horse faced Asian girls attractive or if you don't have a girlfriend.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Julianne Moore and Burt's Bees Vote Natural
She may be a vision when she walks the red carpet, but actress Julianne Moore is on a mission to promote natural beauty. The actress has partnered up with skincare line Burt’s Bees, whose alliance with the Natural Products Association has helped develop a Natural Seal bestowed on products that are at least 95% natural, to promote their "Vote Natural" Campaign.
The “Vote Natural” campaign allows consumers to voice their support for skincare products that are free of potentially toxic synthetics.
“When I had my first child, I became far more aware of the importance of the products we use in and on our bodies, in our homes, and more broadly, that affect our footprint on the environment,” she says. “It’s important to me to raise my children in a healthy environment, while preserving our environment.”
Find out more about the promotion and download a free wallet card with a list of six ingredients to check the label for when you are out shopping at votefornatural.com.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Johnathan Saunders Creates Go International Line for Target
Designer Jonathan Saunders is the latest fashion line to create a Go International line for Target.
Saunders is a Scottish-born designer is known for his use of color and patterns which is present in his affordable line. The collection is full of bold blues and reds with vibrant prints and color blocking.
Shop the collection today at Target.com or at your local store today.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
mum's the word.
More cut out fun for you to enjoy now with this great dress up doll of my mum (AKA FemiNazi Agent D).
Remember to get an adult to help with the scissors.
Remember to get an adult to help with the scissors.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Halle Berry Unveils New Fragrence
It isn't quite ready for sale, but Halle Berry gave a sneak peak at her new Coty scent, Halle by Halle Berry, at an exclusive unveiling of the Coty scent in New York City this week.
“We call Halle my second baby,” she said, “because that’s really all I’ve been working on for the past two years.”
The busy new mom to daughter, Nahla, was involved in nearly all aspects of creating the fragrance
“I was mixing two fragrances, a fig and a mimosa, and putting them in a bottle and carrying them around,” she says. “That was my flavor of the moment. I want women to feel that their partners, that special person, thinks they smell beautiful, thinks that it’s simple enough that they can ingest it all day, every day. That’s what Gabriel said,” she adds, of boyfriend Gabriel Aubry. “He said it smells like that — he better be right!”
Source: People
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