general franco.

Devil Hunter (AKA Il Cacciatore di Uomini, Sexo Cannibal, Man Hunter, Mandingo Man Hunter. 1980)
Dir: Jesus Franco.
Cast: Al (my shit stinks like no-one elses) Cliver, Burt Altman, Aline Mess, Ursula Buchfellner, Gisele Hahn, Werner Pochath, Antonio de Cabo, Melo Costa, Robert (not the one from The Black Hole) Foster and Muriel Montossé.

Top Euro-super model and Lego haired temptress Laura Crawford (horse faced former Playboy bunny Buchfellner) has annoyed her fellow clothes horse cum 'assistant', the brunette bombshell Jane (Hahn) so much that the jealous witch has put into action a plan to get Crawford kidnapped then leg it with the ransom money as soon as the world's fashion photographers/film producers pay up.

Or something.

Enlisting the help of her bad boy buddies lead by the Skeletor like Thomas (Cabo), they decide to forgo hiding her in a convenient bed and breakfast (or even a shed) and take her to a region of uncharted cannibal infested jungle instead.

As one would I suppose.

It's not long before everyone involved is bored senseless with playing Twister and charades so reckon it'd be much more fun to tie Laura to a tree and touch her up a wee bit.

Could her day get any worse?

Devil Hunter....fashion victim.

Umm.....maybe, because it appears that the aforementioned cannibal tribe worship an honest to Goodness scary monster. Naked apart from a pair of pound shop googly eyed glasses, the beast (Altman) wanders around the jungle shagging then eating (or is it the other way round?) any women he (it?) comes across (possibly quite literally).

Cliver: A mooth made for Shite-in

The scarily sexy cannibal high priestess (the aptly named Mess) keeps the horny devil's libido at bay by sacrificing various buxom ladies to him on a weekly basis in a ceremony that is as intricate as it is unnecessarily long winded.

Firstly she hypnotises the unwilling victims with a sweaty lap dance before dragging them naked to a secluded lagoon where even more naked ladies scrub them clean and tie them to a tree ready to be used and abused (in glorious technicolour) by Altman.

Laura’s producer pal has no option but to mount a rescue attempt and to this end hires hunky mercenary (and Vietnam vet) Peter Weston (Cliver - this time with both arms) and his hip, manbreasted sidekick Jack (Foster) to fly in and seal the deal.

"Laugh now!"

It's not long before the dynamic duo are facing off against the ker-razy kidnappers in a pitch gun battle, unaware that the horny Altman is slowly moving in for the kill (or at least a swift handjob off Cliver - I mean, which hot blooded male wouldn't?).

After an indeterminable amount of shootings, chasing and gratuitous arse shots our heroes find a mysterious (and topless) 'girl on a yacht' (sex movie starlet and former pop princess Montossé) who, after bouncy about for a while offers to help our heroes in their quest.

Montossé: square face.

Unfortunately for all concerned Altman has taken a wee shine to Laura and will stop at nothing to put his rotten zombie man parts inside her.....

What follows promises to be an apocalyptic assault on the senses, but frankly I got bored and went to my bed.

"Fiona! Where's mah lunch?"

After a girlie tiff with top producer Erwin Dietrich, Franco fucked off to the jungle in a strop and decided to film this masterpiece alongside the classic Mondo Cannibale, hence the appearance of the same cast, locations, shirts and obviously Caucasian actors blacked up pretending to be cannibals etc. But whereas that movie has at least some redeeming qualities in it's (unintentionally) funny performances Devil Hunter is played dead straight (tho' I use the word 'played' loosely, most of the cast look too drunk to do anything other than hopefully hit there mark and mumble banal dialogue that'll be overdubbed at a later date).

Even the usually fantastic Cliver can't save this one, reduced as he is to sitting topless on a boat, his hairy nipples erect and his sweaty manbreasts swaying in the cool breeze as he tosses bottles into the dirty water surrounding him.

Spot the ball.

Franco, in his infinite wisdom decides instead to fill the movie with spasmodic zooms towards Buchfellner and Mess's front bums, hoping that these will stun the viewers into submission and detract from the frightening amount of scenes showing an Altman's eye view of various naked women running thru' trees and, whilst the thought of Franco following a variety of European non-actresses around, concentrating on their ample arses bouncing about as they go may sound appealing, the fact that every single one of these shots looks as if it's been filmed thru' a haze of green jelly only achieves the effect of making the viewer feel nauseous.

Erotic? racist? or just erotically racist?

Saying that, if you enjoy Franco's work (which frankly is all of us) then you'll at least find something to enjoy, if only Cliver's comedy 'tache and Buchfellner's fright fringe.

Which is two more recommendations than you'd get for Sadomaster.